I have many friends who are searching for love and connection via online dating sites. My friends are spending hours flirting, chatting, writing emails, arranging dates, and “massaging their profiles” in their quest for love and sex.
It’s a challenging game. Unanswered emails, getting stood up, and bad dates are all too common. I really admire anyone who persists. The disappointments far outnumber the successes.
I have a tip to help your chances of success and it has nothing to do with your computer.
It comes from my own experience of attracting my own Beloved into my life.
I had been single for years before meeting her. My love radar was always on high alert. If some poor girl showed the least bit of interest in me, I was all over her like a cheap suit. Sure, I had regular flings but nothing would last long or satisfy me. I wasn’t very attractive in my neediness and desperation.
Eventually I got smart and realized that I had to do something different. I started to focus on my purpose – being a fantastic sex educator and healer. I stopped grasping outside of myself for satisfaction and started using all of my tantric skills to cultivate my own sexual energy.
I’d make time everyday to massage myself – especially those intimate places where there are lots of nerve endings. I’d set my intention and get centred before touching myself. I took my time and wasn’t in a rush to get off. I limited the amount of porn and fantasy I used and instead brought my attention to my own body sensations. I used conscious breathing while touching myself. I tried new techniques and toys and learned new things about my own pleasure. I used a mantra, “I Am My Own Divine Lover” and channelled my orgasmic energy into a vision and an embodied feeling of that mantra. I savoured my solo-loving practice.
Within a couple of months, I had an inner fire burning. I was feeling confident because I was meeting my own needs. Instead of chasing after every woman that came my way, I quietly contained my energy. My lady friends took notice. They would come up to me and say, “Ki what have you been doing? You’ve changed. You’re looking so good.”
I’d smile and say, “I’m practicing loving myself.”
It’s true that we attract what we put out in the world. In that state of being my Own Divine Lover my Beloved soon showed up in the flesh. Our connection was magical and still is. Jessica and I have been together 3 years and we have a 3 month old son who is the delight of our lives.
So to all you singles my advice is to add some more time massaging yourself as well as massaging your online profile. Give yourself so much sensual pleasure and love that your cup overflows. You’ll be amazed at who shows up to have a drink.
I’m available for private sessions for men and women who would like coaching in this empowering practice of self-massage and solo-loving. Obstacles do come up and a supportive coach can make the difference between success and failure. You’re worth it!